I’m a loser, a stubborn, silly loser. I always lose to u.. After so many years, so many thing happen and changed but I guess my feeling toward you still remain almost the same. You still stand a important place in my heart. I always tell myself, thing had changed already and always trying to convince myself that I had already put down and treat you as friend. But did I manage to do that ? It’s always a question mark..
5 years already, it almost 5 years and still you stand such a important place in my heart. I know that no matter what, both of us are just impossible that why I choose the other path and that is to remain good friend and I will still be able to contact and meet u. whenever you tell me something that you might need help or not sure, I will be like thinking all ways to help you. Now I control myself, I told myself not to do that as someone will be helping you with that.
I am always guessing and thinking, do you have a bf already? And if you really have, how would I react to it? Even though I had been telling myself you must had a bf and if there is one day, you tell me that you had a bf, I wonder what will I do or react to it. I love to see you smile coz your smile really brighten up my days and I feel so contented when I see you smile J Can you just continue smiling for me? You know when you say that you miss Taiwan? In my mind, I’m thinking of what can I buy for you at Taiwan and send it to you as small surprises.
Looking through all those stuff that I had type over the past few years, I felt that I am so childish but yet I can sense that I really love you a lot and willing to do anything just for you. Do you know that you’re the only person that can make me feel really happy, really sad, seriously hurt and confused? Maybe you must have think that lulu is the ger that I’m going for now as my fb dp is me &her, my phone wallpaper is me n her. But do you know that if now both of us had taken a new pic, everything will change to that pic. I guess all those dp n all is just a way of me trying to hide thing and will make ppl think that I’d get over you and …
Maybe it only in my dreams that I assume that I already get over you but the fact is I dun even noe what? It a confuse feeling and it me, it myself that …. Sometime I feel that I get over you but sometime I think of you and browse through our sms and all.. I’m just a loser in this kind of stuff. I’m sorry !
Silly Dang signin off ~
