28/1/10

Okay, recently i had been very lazy to come type anything here.. Tis week had been turnin in late n wakin up early.. Soo tired n shag! Kayakin n kayak, it tirin but it fun though... Sat will be workin n after work party at the zoo ! Sun will be outin wif ah ju n ah oon :) Gonna shop n get stuff and RELAX :)

The days are near, and it's bothering me.. I dunnoe whether shld i anot ? I'm so afraid that i will receive another sms that make me down another few weeks.. I just wanna do smth that i had been doin it ever since i noe u, pls gif me a chance to continue doin it.. It doesn't matter even if u do not reply, just dun stop me from doin that or asked me dun do it anymore.. Yes, i admit i get to noe more ppl and maybe 1 or 2 may have attracted me but the feelin is totally diff.. After so long, no one did gif me dat feelin..

I gt to slp soon n my eye is closing soon, tml will be another day again.. Nitex nitex :)

对你好，为你痛， 你却说全都没有..

21/01/10

Okay i'm here to update alreadi.. Quite a handful of thing happen tis few days .. Be it good or bad, it happened anyway.. 1 of the worries dat i had kind of put down is my attachment thingy, it shld be solved and i will be able to do my thing b4 i go for attachment :) Another worries is my sis, she fell yest n hurt herself.. So nw she is at SGH n tml she will be gg operation for her shoulder or hand, hopefully after de ops her hand will be fine and she will be able to move freely :) My mum had also been very tired tis few days as she gt to head to hospital in de mornin and then back to home to do some home stuff and then head back to hospital again.. Yest went to see my sis and could see dat she is in pain as she couldn't realli move her hand.. Tml will head down to see her after sch again, hopefully..

Just nw went to have steamboat wif edmund n peeps, finally get to meet him.. Actually didn't plan to go as my sis is in hospital but luckly she is fine so i went to meet them.. Chat wif him regardin some stuff and as usual we chat abt our own stuff n happen to chat abt her again.. Edmund told me, forget abt it ba and dun think too much abt it anymore.. If possible dun wish or sms her durin her b'day too.. 2 ppl had told me de same thing alreadi n that is not to sms her durin her b'day, no nid to wish her le.. For myself, i plan to sms n wish her as usual.. I still will sms her, as a fren wishin her happy birthday, that all :)

你面无表情的嘴角 像在嘲笑我的胡闹。。我告诉自己习惯就好，习惯就好 。。我还在等一个人 在等我得永恒 告诉我爱别担心别害怕。。

就这样了。。 晚安咯 ！

15/1/10

Tml will be water based practical UT, wish me gd luck man esp on capsized drills ! Feel soo relieved after 2day sports business UT, finally all theory UT 2 all finish :) Tml after UT will be out wif best pal pearline :) Gonna enjoy myself to de max.. Recently no mood to do anything, no mood to do ppt and think for ideas, engine realli down.. Maybe is i've been focusin and work hard for de first 10 weeks n nw no more energy for the rest of 5 weeks le.. Totaly drain out :(

我怎么一夜之间被打垮了 狼狈 沉默 放空 泪光 心痛。。 我不能跟朋友说 因为你做的事会有可能让他们觉得你是坏的。。找新的爱伪装幸福 却装得更寂寞。。

Bye, gt to slp soon as tml gt to wake up early for kayakin thingy :) Gd night then ..

找不到人说 心里的寂寞..

12/1/10

I gt a feelin, it might be a long post.. Okay, i'm realli burnt after yest kayakin session.. It fun to kayak in the sea :) After the kayakin ard 10 of us went airport to have popeyes and also walk ard at t3, i also get my gummy bear at candy empire, OMG i'm soo addicted to it hahahaha.. I like hangin out wif my class-mates, they're a bunch of fun ppl and they usually make me laugh like nobody business :D

Tis cumin thur i will noe my result for my IIP attachment.. And i will get to know whether wil i be attach in sg or overseas.. If i'm realli gg overseas attachment, then i will be away for ard 4 to 6 months.. 4 to 6 months away from home, from my friends and family..

If i'm realli gg overseas attachment, i realli hope i can meet her b4 i leave.. I noe it will be highly impossible but stil i do hope soo.. I miss her, i realli want to know hw is she doing nw ? Is she doing well ? Nw i have no idea wad is she doin nw, I have no news abt her.. I noe that i'm suppose to forget abt her and i shld nt be typin all tis over here but i juz can't forget abt her, everywhere i go i think of her, everything i do remind me of her.. Everyday i pass by bukit batok or gombak when i go to sch n go to work.. I go to work, it remind me of her, I go night safari it remind me of her again.. I go westmall,marina sq,vivo city,lot 1, it remind me of her again.. Everytime after trainin from sch when i was takin train back hm, i will usually head to the 1st cabin n try my luck will i able to see her ? Everytime i will tell myself :forget it, she will nt take train anymore.. Someone will drive her anywhere she wanna go now.. When i go for competition, it remind me of her again.. It remind me of those sms she use to send me when i have match, it remind me of that she is always nt down when she told me she will come n support me...

So what i found someone that i admire or feel that she is my eye candy ? It does nt mean anything, they are still nt what i wanted, the feelin is different.. Maybe by gg overseas for 4 to 6 months will gif me a chance to forget abt everything..

我没有你们想象中的那么坚强。。也许是因为被伤了很深，所以在也不想再认真了。。认真了，过后得到的却是一身的伤，伤了却又没有办法恢复。。温柔好浓，记忆里浮现你的面容，心还跳动 却没重逢。。

I'll try to learn to forget and continue my daily lifestyle as usual.. I will try to put everything behind..

一个人在夜里继续的奔跑，却发现在也听不到自己的心跳。。

5/1/10

1st post of 2010.. I shall start with 3rd of jan (sun), i suppose to work till 6.45pm but as i'm nt feeling very well and also dere is nt much guest so i request to go off early.. okay i suppose to go off at 3pm but in de end i went down to the office wif the WDs (Julia,Pat,Michelle,Dawn) as they also finish work at 3pm too.. In de end i did nt went hm, i went AMK wif them instead hahahaa.. When i was boardin 138, dawn was like: But u're sick ! I was like ehhhh.. hahahaha So basically i was alreadi SICK on sun alreadi, and i did nt bother much.. And i still i went to my cousin hse for Kimchi soup wif rice and play Wii and of coz accompany n play wif my dear COCO too..

Yest is 1st day of sch but i'm too sick to go sch so i rest at hm instead.. Yest was 1st match of IVP n we won SIM.. 2 more games to go !!

27 more days to her b'day.. Tis yr i did not plan or do anything for her as i'm nt suppose and being told not to get anything for her... As during last yr,that will be the last present i will be giving her.. No more planning or savin for 1st feb anymore.. Christmas wishes no reply, New year 2010 no reply, so will i get any reply for 1st feb b'day wish ? Will i receive any message that tellin me: This will be the last b'day wishes and we shall not wish each other anymore.. I'm soo afriad that i might receive tis sms 1 day ...

对她我终究说不出‘恨’这个字... 无论我有多伤心 多难过，我就是没办法说我恨她.. 别说恨，我连怪都没怪过她.. 我反而会想现在她过的好吗 ？幸福吗，快乐吗？

不能握的手 从此匿名的朋友... 其实我的执著 依然执著..